Monday, February 25, 2013


The big kids did their school in DJ's room today, wanting to help each other and listen to music while they worked.  I am always ok with ideas like that.  :)

After a while, I quietly walked down the hall to peek through the door that was ajar.
Just wanted to be sure they were, you know, working.

Music thumped from the radio and, as I approached the doorway, they jumped up and broke out into full dance mode.

Laughing, I went back down to the schoolroom to continue working with the younger three.

With a smile still lingering I thanked God for these happy moments, when my two pre-teens with all their hormones and drama are the very best of friends!

Monday, February 18, 2013

An Extraordinary Girl

Lent find me thinking deeper these days...deeper than whether to wash colors or whites first, at least :)

But this week my mind settled on Mary, the mother of Jesus.  What was it about her that caught God's attention?  I have let my imagination travel a bit, and I believe God showed me something new that I had not considered before.

Mary was just an ordinary girl.  But she was extraordinary, wasn't she?  She lived day in and day out, the mundane threatening to numb her heart and mind.  She practiced obedience, performed her duties, and learned how to keep a home.  She accepted the arrangement with Joseph, for what other choice did she have?
Just an ordinary girl.  But God...
   I love when there is a "but God" in the story.

God had planned the scandalous, the irrational, the ludicrous...and she would be the bearer, the womb in which glory was veiled in human flesh.

What made Mary extraordinary?  Why her, chosen to mother the Messiah?

Perhaps it was the day-to-day obedience, the silent prayers lifted when she was tempted, the faithful acceptance of the path set before her by her parents...
perhaps the submission to her earthly father's will made it not-so-difficult, not quite as large a leap, to accept the will of her heavenly father.

Faith is more than a feeling, it is a habit.
Trust is a practiced skill, and we must learn to crawl before we can walk.

Mary?  She ran.  She ran fully into the embrace of her Father and placed her life, her future, her heart fully into the hands of God.

"May it be to me as you have said."

And it was.

May I walk faithful in the small things.
May I practice this habit of trust so that when your call goes against the grain I am able to see it as the natural next step in my walk with you.

May we train up our children in this habit as well, that the transition that comes with maturity...the need to obey you because YOU lead them and not because we tell them natural and seamless.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Emotional Hangover

Ever had one?  You know, where the wonderfulness or simple intensity of something just knocks you down and puts you on hold for a day...or three?

In my case, it has been about three weeks.

I was blessed to be able to attend the Created for Care conference in Atlanta, GA back in January.  I wasn't sure what to expect from this conference of adoptive mamas.  I admit I was afraid I might be stepping into the "adoption cult" and really hoped that was not the case.

Let me explain.  As you know, all five of our kids were adopted but it was not out of a sense of justice or a need to save a child.

We just wanted kids, and they were not going to grow in this body.

As our family grew, our passion for adoption grew and we did take bigger leaps of faith but that was not how it began.  Adoption was a calling God placed on us.  I do not believe He places it on everyone.  I strive to be very careful in my advocacy to be sensitive to the individual and God's plan for their life.  If you are not called, you should NOT adopt.

So with this caution in my heart I stepped into the conference.

I was met by hundreds of tired faces, mamas who are walking through waiting, adjustment, attachment issues, special needs, and just plain fatigue.

Mamas who desperately needed to be mommied.

And oh, were we mommied.  We worshipped with abandon, heard the Word proclaimed, were reassured that we are, in fact, equipped by God to do what He has called us to do, and ate chocolate.

Lots, and lots of chocolate.

The deepest blessing came on Sunday morning, during the last session.  Scriptures were read over us that we as adoptive mamas pray over our children almost daily.  As we strive to help them navigate the waters of their stories, overcome fears and insecurities, and learn to understand who they are in Christ we constantly remind them...
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Jesus loves you perfectly.
He will never leave you nor forsake you.

But this time, these Scriptures were for me.  I did not realize until the tears were flooding my cheeks and sobs prevented me from singing another word how desperately I needed to be reminded of these things.

You see, this parenting thing is hard.  It is complicated and messy and I honestly don't know what the heck I am doing sometimes.  But God...oh, the mercy.  Oh, the grace.

I find my rest in God alone...I find my strength in Him.  Without Him, I can do nothing.  In my own strength I am doomed to only be able to repair the walls halfway (see Nehemiah!) but WITH Him...HE promises to faithfully complete the work...HE does it, not me.  He is the repairer of hearts, the redeemer of broken pasts, the author of our stories.  He uses hardship and suffering to strengthen and refine His children, all of them...including mine.  He will teach them to find their identity in Him, He will turn their faces towards Him and speak truth into their hearts through the Holy Spirit.  I can trust Him with my babies, even when they don't trust Him...or me.

My Jesus is an expert at bringing beauty from ashes.

Yes, I have been suffering from an emotional hangover for the past few weeks.  I have wanted to write for so long but just have been unable to put into words what has been percolating in my heart.  I just want to encourage you, though, to go to one of these conferences if you get the opportunity.  You will be so glad you did.

Created for Care

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


Dear Blog,

I miss you.  I have so many things to write but time has been painfully short.  I am saving them up, though, and I promise I will sit down soon and hammer it all out.