Sunday, April 25, 2010

Update and a quick question

We got an email from our family coordinator and apparently had mis-added a number on our financial statement, which means we have to re-do and have it notarized AGAIN!  (This makes financial statement #3!)  ARGH!  Homestudy is finished and reviewed, so we are so very close to sending off the I-600.  Please pray for direction and clarity as we trudge forward.  All the changes in Ethiopia make each step a step of faith...not that they weren't before, but my goodness there are so many more unknowns at this point. 

Also...as I contemplate the yet-to-be-announced adventure that the Lord is placing us on (mentioned in my last post) I would love to ask you a question...

What is your #1 goal for your children? 

I look forward to your answers!  Have a blessed week!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Wow

So there are seasons we all go through where you feel a little "dry" spiritually.  I have even felt like I am treading water and BARELY staying afloat more often than not over the past several months.  I have prayed, I have been willing to whatever God asks, and I have waited for Him to move.  We continue to walk forward in the adoption process, though stll not sure what the outcome will be.  I continue to juggle the daily joys and responsibilities of mommyhood, but have felt this burden, this pressure that I really could not explain.

Until now.

The Lord is moving, showing me He is near.  He is working in my family in ways that take my breath away and, between moments of sheer panic at where He is leading us, I feel more calm that I have in a long time. 

I will share the details soon, but I just ask that you pray for me as I depend on God for "the details" and take a huge leap of faith.  I will never get used to the Creator of the universe taking notice of little old me...NEVER!

And NO I am NOT pregnant!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Praises are Ringing

First of all, thank you so much for the prayers and encouragement as we seek God in our adoption journey.  As of now we are waiting for our homestudy to be written and the next step is to send in the I-600 form and await our fingerprinting appointment.  Our agency has mentioned the possibility of allowing escorts to bring the children home since parents are being required to go to Ethiopia for the court hearing.  If they do, we will most likely take advantage of that in order to make the transition easier for ALL of our children.  For someone to accompany them who speaks their language and can explain what is happening, and for us all to be able to arrive at the airport together, to take them into our arms and drive them home and love on them, just sounds like a win-win situation.  Of course, God sees the beginning and the end all at the same time, so we will be obedient to whatever He asks us to do.

Ok...now I must share the sweetest of moments that occurred just this morning with my precious Gracie (age 5).  In all my planning of the "perfect" Easter, we never did get to the Resurrection Eggs which my little ones LOVE to do.  I didn't want to rush just to "get them done" so I held off 'til this morning.  The big kids were at school so I took them out to the front porch and sat with them in the porch swing. 
 Gracie and Drew took turns opening the eggs...exclaiming with delight at every little treasure:  the donkey, the silver coins, the white linen, the cross and the empty egg at the very end.  We talked about Jesus and Gracie said, "Mommy, sometimes at night when it is past my bedtime I pray. 
And I ask God why Jesus had to die."

My heart melted as I realize the depth of her baby faith.  I explained to her the dirtiness of sin...how God is so Holy and perfect that He cannot be around sin.  I told her that our sin keeps us far away from Him, but Jesus' blood washed all of our sins away so that we can be close to God and live with Him forever.  I told her that when she is ready she can give her life to Jesus and ask Him into her heart. 

Time stood still for a moment.  Then it passed.  I assumed the conversation was over as she started to climb out of my lap then she settled back down and turned to look at me face-to-face.  The she said...
"Mommy, can we have a special time together just to pray?"
"Sure, baby,"  I said.   "You can pray and tell God whatever you want.  Go ahead."

Then she bowed her head, pressed the palms of her hands together, and closed her eyes.  My face was buried in her hair and I could smell the sweet conditioner mixed with the musty smell of a child who had spent an hour on the trampoline.  I held my breath as she began...
"God, every night when I go to bed I get scared but I know you are with me.  So will you please come into my heart right now?  Amen."

I looked at her shining face and kissed the tip of her nose.  Then she hopped off my lap and asked, "Can I have a snack?" then skipped into the house...as the angels rejoiced.

My heart...it is singing.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Rollercoaster

Well I spoke too soon.  We received another email today...Ethiopia is back to a two trip country.  Good grief.  We have finished the homestudy and are waiting for it to be approved, then I guess we have to really hear from God so we know whether or not to move forward.  My heart longs to fly across the ocean and wrap my arms around little ones who need a mommy and daddy and bring them home.  We just need the Lord to be clear so we can proceed without hesitation or second-guessing.  I know HE sees the beginning and the end at the same time...He has already chosen our children and will prepare the hearts of all my children to love each other and adjust to the many changes that will come.  We just have to be sure we are on the path that leads to our children and not a dead-end.  I have heard rumors that the Ethiopian program could shut down.  If so, then I know God is already on top of it and will direct us where we should go. 
So we walk out each step, day by day.  We watch and pray and trust His leading.  Waiting is hard, especially when you are this far into the process and feel that you have been placed on a rollercoaster. 

Please pray for us, for the Lord to speak, and for the attacks on adoptions all over the world to STOP.