in-ter-fer-ence (noun) [in-ter-feer-uhns]
1. an act, fact, or instance of interfering.
2. something that interferes.
3. Football: the act of illegally hindering an opponent from catching a forward pass or a kick.
4. Aeronautics: The situation that arises when the aerodynamic influence of one surface of an aircraft conflicts with the influence of another surface.
5. Physics: The process in which two or more light, sound, or electromagnetic waves of the same frequency combine to reinforce or cancel each other, the amplitude of the resulting wave being equal to the sum of the amplitudes of the combining waves.
a. a jumbling of radio signals, caused by the reception of undesired ones.
b. the signals or device producing the incoherence.
7. Psychology: The forgetting of information or an event due to inability to reconcile it with conflicting information obtained subsequently.
8. the distorting or inhibiting effect of previously learned behavior on subsequent learning.
So all these snow days are interfering with my blogging. Sorry for the lack of posts! I just cannot seem to get to the computer "just for fun" these days!
But, tonight I am squeezing it in so all three of you won't stop reading.
Speaking of interference, there has been a bit of that lately.
You know, those days when all seems to be a little chaotic, I am struggling to get the gunk off the cabinets and/or floor while cooking, doing laundry, engaging in preschooler diplomacy and monitoring homework? Yeah, the days when I apparently don't have it all together and it is painfully obvious.
Those are the days when that ugly voice presents itself and hisses...
"And you want MORE? You can't even keep things afloat with 4, how do you think you are going to do it with 6? Don't you know your kids are going to resent you because you just can't do it all and, frankly, your kids at home deserve to be the center of attention and not have to have you divided into more pieces? What if you get a kid with those horrible attachment issues? C'mon, no one expects you to adopt again. Good grief, you have already done it 4 times. What are you trying to prove?"
Now, class, who do you think is the source of that ugly little observation? Because I KNOW it is not Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith, the source of my strength and the giver of all good gifts.
It is the voice of the one who hates adoption and everything it stands for. The one who hates the orphan and wants to see every last one of them dead. It is the one who hates all of my children and is livid that they will have their horizons broadened and their hearts stretched with the experience of adoption and of being raised in a great big crazy family. It is the one who wants them to be self-centered and materialistic and would argue that they DESERVE everything this world has to offer, especially if it becomes an idol and pulls them away from their Father in Heaven. It is the voice of the one whose head was crushed when Jesus Christ rose from the grave.
It is the enemy of my soul.
And I. AM. NOT. LISTENING. I am rejoicing that the battle wages hotter and harder when I am on target with God's will. I am rejoicing that God is in the middle of it all and is refining me and my family as we walk through paperwork, decisions, tough conversations, and the unknown. He sees the beginning and the end at the same time. He has already chosen the next children who will join our family. I may have moments of paralyzing fear that threaten to shut me down, but He always eases into the maelstrom with his still small voice and calms the storm. He has us in the palm of His hand. He is faithful.
He is GOD.
And I just love that I, in all of my shortcomings and disorganized messiness, get to be a part of what He is doing. Adoption is amazing. Truly. It is the biggest spiritual battle you may ever fight, but oh, how sweet is that victory when a little life is redeemed and given HOPE. I hope you will experience it for yourself if you haven't already. Despite what "the interference" would like us to believe...
In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost-Matt. 18:14
Did you catch that?
ANY of these little ones.