Wednesday, May 14, 2014

In Which I Take a Deep Breath and Exhale

A month has gone by since I last shared with you and, in the whirlwind, I have been thrown into survival mode! After the tragic homegoing of my son’s friend and walking out those first hard days (and weeks) of grief, we had a puppy who was spayed (and several days of pitiful pup recovering from surgery) then my youngest boy had his tonsils and adenoids out the next week.

Last night was the first uninterrupted night of sleep I have had since I­-don’t-­know­-when. 

(And the angels rejoiced!)

So what’s up now? 

Well, I’m sitting in an orthodontist office while my big girl gets her full set of braces. How am I at this point of parenthood? Teens and hormones and braces...oh my! School is winding down and we are trying to finish strong. This time of year, the great outdoors calls loudly!  It seems our schedule has been packed with appointments, lessons, practices and good (but time consuming) interruptions to our norm.  We have said “see you later” to two precious friends from a missionary family from Cape Town, South Africa, who lived in our apartment for the past month (with three of the CUTEST babes EVER) and the other a precious younger and wiser brother in Christ who stayed with us over the weekend while gathering support for the calling God has given him to help his people in the remote villages of Wolaita, Ethiopia.

I will have MUCH more to share about that soon. God is working and that we get to be a part of what He is doing just blows my mind. Big stuff, I tell you! Life changing hope is coming to a people with absolutely nothing!

I have been challenged and convicted in ways that are hopefully causing me to grow in my relationship with God. Who do I really trust? When things are in upheaval and life does not go as I planned, how do I respond? In faith or in fear? By giving my burden to God, or trying to manipulate and control the situation?

I am sorry to say my default is the latter. But God is dealing with that. Through my children, as they walk through hard places and ask the tough questions He teaches me. He shows me where I am weak, strengthens those faulty joints, then gives me the grace to pass what He has given me on to my children. Grace. Truly, when I think about the magnitude of God’s involvement in the details of my everyday I am awestruck. That He is that close, that involved, that concerned with the things of my heart is unimaginable when I look back on all the ways I have failed.

But as far as the East is from the West...that is how far He casts my sins. And when my Father looks at me, He doesn’t see a struggling follower covering her stains with more attempts at earning His favor. No, He sees a daughter. He sees me perfected and sinless because I am completely covered by the blood of Jesus. It is beyond my ability to comprehend the depth of His love, but I gladly jump into the deep waters and let them wash over me when the pressures of this world begin to squeeze me and threaten me. I meet this new day, this busy season of parenthood, with the knowledge that He holds me secure.

And when a wrench is thrown in my plans (which happens almost hourly these days) I pray that I will grab onto that grace and respond in faith.

He’s got this. God’s got me and you and we can rest in that truth during the most turbulent of storms.

dogwood, Jesus, trust, breathe, busy, family, parenting
In quietness and trust is my strength...Isaiah 30:15

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