Monday, March 19, 2012


Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him, if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then, free of fault, you will lift up your face; you will stand firm and without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid, and many will court your favor. Job 11:13-19

This verse reached out and grabbed my heart today. I was actually looking up something to bless a child who struggled, and in turn He blessed me.

This odd Lenten fast I have undertaken has started to weigh.

I have missed events...births, engagements, announcements of various importance...and it has begun to be felt more deeply within me.

At first it was simply odd. It was the breaking of a bad habit. Then the habit left me and I was happily unaware of what went on outside of my tangible world. I no longer am missing the little opportunities to incite laughter online or post a clever quip, I am missing friends. I am missing relationships that have endured miles and years because we could easily peek in on one another's lives. I am realizing that I can use modern means of communication for Him or for me.

I was using them, too often, for me.

I like making people laugh. I like showing off the cuteness of my children and getting written "ooh's and aah's" in response. I like spirited conversation and even occasional controversy.

But, as He has so often shown me throughout my life, it is not about me.


I am called to be different in everything I do. From the books I read to the entertainment I watch to the clothes I wear to the words I put out there, I am to choose to be different.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31

Sometimes I am good at this. I know I am different in many things (some would call me weird...) but am I different in all the places He considers important?

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:17-19

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:25-27

Ouch. The bread of idleness. That is what I had become guilty of consuming...daily...sometimes hourly. A few minutes here, a few minutes there, "checking in" with a clever phrase or even posting an occasional verse. Getting sucked in and ignoring the dishes because I'll only be on for a few minutes...but spending too long reading the news feed and digesting gossip.

If I am going to take part in these things, if I am going to glorify Him, I have to be so careful. I am so easily tempted to talk too much when I am using my actual physical tongue. How much more am I tempted when I am online with a potentially large audience?

Yes, I have to be so careful. I must be sure that what I say, what I type, is pleasing to Jesus. That I am not simply trying to gain attention for myself, but that I am letting Him use me for His that others may see Him.

It is not wrong to be funny. Of course not. But it is the underlying attention-seeking that is wrong. I want to be different and I know it is a battle that will continue until I am face to face with Jesus, but I want to live in a way that brings honor to Him and causes others to see Him more clearly.

Yes, that is my prayer.


  1. Can't wait to have you back!
    But just want you to know your wit and humor and very very very cute kids are an encouragement to those of us who walk this road behind you. So while you may be thinking the reason behind it is attention seeking- drawing attention to your Godly family (even in their cuteness) is such an encouragement to me and I'm sure many others!

  2. Thank you sweet friend:). It is so hard to articulate what I mean without sounding like a downer, but I think you see my heart in this. That blesses me! I guess I just realized I easily cross that fine line and want to be an encouragement but not a braggart:). I especially don't want to come across as having it all together because that would be completely misleading! You know I LOVE to have fun and lots of it...and loud laughter fills my cup. But I want to do it out of the abundance of joy and not in an attempt to create joy in my own strength. Love you and your insight my friend!


Let's keep the conversation going...