Saturday, June 16, 2012

Forward Focus

In the everyday of life I so easily lose focus.
But God is so patient with me.
In the busy I too quickly put Him off, make Him wait.
And He does.
Summer has been so busy...busier than I had expected or wanted.  Sometimes I feel drained and useless and "God are you really using me or am I just spinning my wheels?"
He is so patient with me.
Plans were made to participate in the local Relay for Life.  A team was organized in memory of my dear friend and sister in Christ who went Home just last year at the age of 40.
I just turned 40.
I have been so busy, but I needed to do this for her, for her mama and her sister and her kids who miss her so much.

Tonight we gathered and the mood was light.  I received the biggest hug of my life from her mama who was so glad to see us glad to see the women who were touched and changed forever by knowing her daughter.  We laughed and we caught up on life and the past year and we watched kids play among the tents.  It was a fun evening.

Gracie and Mari wanted to collect the colorful beads being handed out by the various booths, so we walked the Relay.  We chatted with friends and really didn't think about why we were there so much until the music began...the music for the Survivor Lap.

Completely against my will and unexpectedly a lump rose in my throat and tears filled my eyes as I remembered.  The last time I was here I was with her and she was a survivor.  She walked that lap proudly with her mama and her sister, head held high and the smile of hope on her face.

She would go Home just 8 months later.

I watched teenage girls weep for someone I've never met and I wondered if they had also lost a mama...and I prayed for their hearts.
My heart broke and yet, from deep in my spirit came a rejoicing.

Why?  Because I know where she is.  I know that she smiled as she went Home and that in the weeks and  months before she was radiant with Joy despite the suffering.  I know, and therefore I rejoice.

Last week my husband and I watched the movie "The End of the Spear" which is about the group of missionaries who were martyred in Ecuador in the 1950's.  I knew the generalities of their story but the movie literally rocked my world.  Later my husband would read about it here and the visual created by the movie combined with Steve Saint's description of what the tribesmen saw as the missionaries were dying have stuck vividly in my mind.  Here is what he wrote:

Mincaye and Kimo confirmed that they heard the singing and saw what Dawa seems to describe as angels along the ridge above Palm Beach. Dyuwi verified hearing the strange music, though he describes what he saw more like lights, moving around and shining, a sky full of jungle beetles similar to fireflies with a light that is brighter and doesn't blink.

I just kept thinking, "This is why she smiled!  This is what she saw, and sees, and we will all see one day!  "

God has given us the accounts to help remind us that YES Heaven is real and YES He is here and YES it will be worth it all!

How does anyone survive without Jesus?  How does anyone bear loss and hurt and disappointment and exhaustion and illness without the CROSS of Jesus standing before us declaring it is finished and HE IS RISEN and we can trust with abandon?

What a sweet reunion we had today.  Friends and family remembering through smiles and tears and choosing to trust Him when we really don't understand...looking forward to Heaven and the promise of no more death, no more pain, no more sorrow, no more more orphans and no more cancer.  Someday we will see and our vision will be clear.

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints.  Psalm 116:15

I am so grateful today for this reminder to stay focused, to not let the everyday dim my vision or cause my sight to blur.  Let Him decide what is important and the rest will just have to wait.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Matt. 6:33

Yes, the rest will just have to wait.

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