It has been almost two years since Mari became part of our family. In those two years she has defaced every birthday cake of her siblings.
Every single one.
She has battled incredible jealousy when their birthdays come, no matter how much we remind her that hers will come again. She has had a cloud over her head and green envy in her eyes...sneaking a moment alone to swipe a piece of cake and attempt to ruin what is the centerpiece of any birthday party. I have had no idea how to help her be happy for them, as they are always so happy for her.
But a few weeks ago, Ami and Papa were in town and it just happened to be Papa's 70th birthday. We bought him a big, fancy ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and it sat proudly on the counter for the 20 minutes it takes to thaw so we could get a knife through it. The celebration came and went and we all ate til we were sick of ice cream (as IF!) and then it hit me.
She didn't touch it...did not try to ruin it.
I held a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, she has learned to enjoy the celebrations of others.
Yesterday we took Drew out for yummy Hibachi food at our local Samurai restaurant, then came home to cupcakes loaded with icing. He got the giant one and the rest of us got "normal" ones. Mari asked why he got the big one, and I answered that it was because he is the birthday boy. She shrugged it off and seemed unaffected. We got the cakes out to light candles and sing and I fought the urge to remind her not to touch...I have to give her the chance to make this good choice on her own.
And she did. She not only left his cake alone, she happily made a card from her to him...hugged him and celebrated and watched as he opened his presents without one time mentioning her birthday or even getting "that look" in her eyes. She was happy for him, truly happy!
I wish I could find words to express the incredible miracle that must have occurred in her heart in recent weeks. I am just bowled over with gratitude and the realization that her healing, indeed, continues. God is forging those deep bonds that make familial love different...special...treasured. I could not be more grateful for the work He is doing in her, and in us.
Every single one.
She has battled incredible jealousy when their birthdays come, no matter how much we remind her that hers will come again. She has had a cloud over her head and green envy in her eyes...sneaking a moment alone to swipe a piece of cake and attempt to ruin what is the centerpiece of any birthday party. I have had no idea how to help her be happy for them, as they are always so happy for her.
But a few weeks ago, Ami and Papa were in town and it just happened to be Papa's 70th birthday. We bought him a big, fancy ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and it sat proudly on the counter for the 20 minutes it takes to thaw so we could get a knife through it. The celebration came and went and we all ate til we were sick of ice cream (as IF!) and then it hit me.
She didn't touch it...did not try to ruin it.
I held a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, she has learned to enjoy the celebrations of others.
Yesterday we took Drew out for yummy Hibachi food at our local Samurai restaurant, then came home to cupcakes loaded with icing. He got the giant one and the rest of us got "normal" ones. Mari asked why he got the big one, and I answered that it was because he is the birthday boy. She shrugged it off and seemed unaffected. We got the cakes out to light candles and sing and I fought the urge to remind her not to touch...I have to give her the chance to make this good choice on her own.
And she did. She not only left his cake alone, she happily made a card from her to him...hugged him and celebrated and watched as he opened his presents without one time mentioning her birthday or even getting "that look" in her eyes. She was happy for him, truly happy!
I wish I could find words to express the incredible miracle that must have occurred in her heart in recent weeks. I am just bowled over with gratitude and the realization that her healing, indeed, continues. God is forging those deep bonds that make familial love different...special...treasured. I could not be more grateful for the work He is doing in her, and in us.
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