Testing...testing...

Oh, the standardized test, the supposed measure of learning and progress.  As a homeschooling parent, I am not required to test my kids every year by our state but I choose to test every two years just so I can see "where we stand" and if there are any major deficits that I need to address while planning for the next year.  I order the tests and administer them at home, carefully following all the rules and standards for a classroom testing environment so that I get an accurate measure of my children's performance.

Math and language arts have gone smoothly this week.  Of course there are moments where pencils are being chewed and faces look up at the ceiling fan, desperate for an answer to materialize from the dusty blades.  I know the strengths of my kids pretty well, I think, so I don't really expect many surprises.

The last time we tested was two years ago, and I just administered what is called the "Basic Battery" of skills.  But this year I decided to do the "Complete Battery" and include Science and Social Studies.

Just for fun.

My kids think I am evil.

For the most part, the questions were what you expect...geology, general science, botany, zoology, government, geography and map-reading, etc.  No biggie, right?

But thrown into the mix were questions that simply struck me as asinine.  For example..."Which of the following lived during the time this fossil (insert picture of a fossilized leaf) was formed?"  The possibilities are...A)a parrot, B)a squirrel, C)a fish, and D)a brontosaurus.

For real?  First of all, do the people who wrote this test think parrots, squirrels, and fish didn't exist until the dinosaurs were extinct? It was obvious they wanted answer D...but even my 8 year old was confused because SHE knows God formed the flying and swimming creatures on the 5th day of creation and the LAND ANIMALS (including dinosaurs) on the 6th day.  So I just told her, "Mark the answer you think they want."

Awesome.

Another fine example of higher thinking:  "Which of the following should be recycled?"  The possibilities were a bar of soap, a pencil, a carrot, and a milk jug.

What the heck does this have to do with social studies???  When I was in fifth grade, social studies consisted of learning about local government, reading maps, and coloring those little geometric pages for the teacher to hang above the chalkboard.  Oh, wait.  That had nothing to do with social studies?  But I digress.
First of all, (insert screeching halt here...)
 ALERT:  I am not an environmentalist, tree hugger, or Liberal.  You might be offended by the next statement.  Feel free to stop reading here.

First of all...these tests are LOADED with Green Movement indoctrinations, Liberalism, etc.  And I mean LOADED.  If I didn't have the freedom and privilege of administering these tests I would have NO IDEA what was on them.  It is ridiculous.

Second of all...I am very concerned with the ability of my kids to read, write, do math, and LEARN.  I am not concerned at all with their ability to "choose the city that is probably producing the least pollution" or "help 'Tina' figure out how big her recycle bin needs to be."  For crying out loud!

Can they balance a checkbook?  Do they know how to use a dictionary?  Can they read and understand great literature?  Do they know where to go to find information about the things they do not know?  That, to me, is education...that is what I want them to learn.  I have zero interest...ZERO...in their learning to calculate their carbon footprint or being guilted into driving electric cars when they are adults.

Ok.  Stepping off soapbox now.  Well, almost.

For more information about the truth behind the Green Movement, please read Resisting The Green Dragon by James Wanliss.  It is eye opening.  If you are a Christian, this topic is extremely important.
And I leave you with this:

^{Genesis 1:26} Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.

²⁸ And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”